Oh, Ryan...why do you elude me?

I have not been in a very bloggy mood here lately! Mainly because I couldn't think of anything to write about. My creative well ran dry for a few days. Before I begin again, here is the daily list of random!

1.) Better late than never...the Reader of the Week this week is....Sierra Dickerson! She begged to be ROTW. It was really sad and pathetic. I couldn't tell her no. She was so pitiful trying to suck up to me. So, congratulations Sierra Dickerson on being this week's Reader of the Week.

2.) I just found a check written to me by my employer from November 19th, 2010. It is only for $13.59, do you think they will still cash it or it has it probably been cancelled? I was pretty excited when I found it so hopefully they will still honor it! That is like 6 boxes of Junior Mints!

3.) I have decided that I want to become more organized!! I need your help. I would like a small filing cabinet. Maybe something like this:

 Or like this:

If you see one, please let me know. I don't want to spend more than $10 so a gently used yard sale filing cabinet will work nicely. Whoever finds me one will be ROTW automatically!



I decided to reach back in time a little bit and break out a game that is well known to all the ladies who grew up in the late 80s and early 90s. That game is...M.A.S.H! In case you lived under a rock during those years, M.A.S.H was a game that girls played to predict their future. The letters stood for mansion, apartment, shack, and house. Under these letters were several categories that required you to fill in three to four corresponding answers. We always made the person pick one answer per category that they did not want to end up with in their future. The more creative your friends, the more categories the game had. Here is an example below:

I was feeling nostalgic, so I made one of my own today. I tried to take a picture, but it was not clear so here is a typed version of my M.A.S.H.

So, after Danny and I get married on the beach we are going to jet off to the majestic land of Gatlinburg. After our honeymoon we will return to our apartment in California where will we adopt a tabby cat and I will find a job as a police officer. Shortly thereafter we will conceive our only child. In my postpartum depression I will buy my fast black Camaro. The end.

Danny at our wedding

Dear Courtney...

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and slap yourself in the head and say, "Stop it!"? Don't hate me for ripping off Brad Paisley but.....

Dear 16-year-old Courtney,

Put down the homework. I know that is what you are doing right now. Stop it. High school does not have to be as serious as you are making it. I promise. You will still graduate with a perfectly acceptable GPA and get into college. The college English class is a good idea so don't drop it, but there is no need for Honors Algebra 2. You suck at math, don't torture yourself.

Don't paint your room that awful color blue. I know you have not picked out the color yet, but you'll know it when you see it. Don't do it.

Your hair is a hot mess. Go look in the mirror. Do you see that?? Buy a straightener a.s.a.p. You'll appreciate this when you look back on your year book pictures. If you don't buy one, prepare to be made fun of in the future. Trust me, I know.

I know it is hard but make sure you visit Grandmother a lot. You'll wish you had.

I hate to break it to you like this, but you break up with "Bob" in two years. I know you thought you'd be together forever blah blah blah. Sorry to be so blunt, but at least now you will consider taking that UT scholarship. I'm not saying take it, but at least think about your options. Don't let a boy dictate where you go to college.

Speaking of college....HAVE FUN! You definitely do NOT have to make straight As. I know you will think that you do, but you don't. Go out. Meet people. Make sure you take as many of Dr. Smith's classes as possible. However, make sure you are awake when you attend her classes. Turn down the nomination for Homecoming queen...it was embarrassing. Oh, and please, please, please don't take Intermediate Algebra. You suck at math but not that badly. It was a giant waste of your time.


I know there is a lot more I could say, but I am actually writing this on a blog too and I didn't want my readers to get bored. Just so you know you have an awesome blog called Cowboy Cookies and thousands hundreds a few people actually read it! Remember, "don't be sad, be awesome instead."


Love always,
Your (almost) 23-year-old self

Teddy Ruxpin knows when you are sleeping

Happy Friday, Readers! There is not going to be a daily list of random today because I am entirely too lazy to think of things to put on the list. However, I have chosen a Reader of the Week!

**********drum roll**********

Doralyn Liddell

Dora just graduated from nursing school! She also always comments on my blogs. Which gave her way more points than the nursing degree. Congratulations Dora on being this week's ROTW! Your prize is eternal friendship. You're welcome.

*****If you were an 80s or 90s child you will understand and appreciate the content contained in this blog.*****

How many of you have looked back on your childhood and thought, "Wow, we had some creepy toys." And by creepy I mean that the toy produced a terror in your soul that would haunt you in your dreams years down the road. Of course at the time we thought these instruments of Satan were fun and cuddly. Looking back now though we see that these toys were obviously not created by people who had children. Or even knew what a child looked like. 

Take for instance the Teddy Ruxpin. Teddy was an easy way for parents to get out of reading stories to their children. In 1992 he appeared to be a soft cuddly bear who would read stories to you and take you on splendid adventures. Looking back I have no idea why I was not curled up in the fetal position hiding under my bed. They gave him amber colored eyes. Who gives a bear red eyes?? They also poorly disguised the tape player inside his body so he constantly made grinding and popping noises. I found my Teddy Ruxpin in the garage last year and much to my horror...he still worked. His batteries had to be almost 15 years old, but yet he still talked! You can't tell me that isn't creepy! Here is a video I took of my Teddy...if you listen closely you can hear him summon the Dark Lord.

 

There was one toy that I believe struck fear into the hearts of children even back in the 90s. It was creepy then and it is creepy now. That toy was the Furby!

I can't even look at it! Why doesn't it have arms?? The makers of this toy intended for it to be like a replacement pet. They gave it the ability to to play and learn without you having to clean up after it. Why did I want an armless hard ball of fur to play with?? The creators of this demon toy had a cruel sense of humor though. Does everyone remember this seemingly cuddly animal??

You see my point now?! I had a very frightening run-in with my Furby that resulted in it having its batteries ripped from it. In an effort to make it even more creepy the creators made it so that the furry demon could sense light. It also would learn your name and imitate the phone ringing. I couldn't ever get it to shut up at night because I had a street light that shined in my window. I decided to stick the fur ball in my closet one night in an effort to get some sleep. In the darkness this is what I heard...

Well you know what Furby?! I'm scared of the dark now too. Thanks.

One final creepy toy of the 80s and 90s is the American Girl dolls. I can't believe they are still around. I don't care what anyone says, they are not cute or adorable. They are weird. They don't bend. They stand up on their own. And they stare at you in the night.

Look at them. It's like a little army of possessed dolls. Have you ever woken up to one of these staring at you?? It's terrifying. And why do people want one that looks just like them? I don't want a doll version of myself staring at me while I sleep. *shudder*

Well that was a fun rant. Hope you enjoyed that. I'm probably going to have nightmares now.

Don't get too excited...it's not that good.

By a show of hands, who all thought I was dead? Anyway....here is the exceptionally long list of all the things you've missed in my absence.

1.) I got married! And I have a kid!

Okay I wasn't gone that long, but you gotta admit...it was a long time.

2.) I have not had Junior Mints in two weeks! Say whaaat?! I felt like I was consuming an unhealthy amount of them so I decided to back off.

3.) I bought the coolest shirt ever yesterday!

4.) I have gotten a tiny bit better at softball. I have not done anything stupid in the past 4 games which is a major improvement! I was beginning to think I was the sucky kid who no one wanted to play with but they gotta have 10 players so they let me play anyway. I actually still think that, BUT I'm not AS sucky as I was at the beginning. Baby steps!

5.) I saw the must disturbing, weird, gross-looking thing at the mall...

Ahh!! It's the Cookie Monster!!! Ha. Get it? Cause she is on a cookie....?

*cough*

Why would anyone do this to a cookie? Cookies are the embodiment of all things good and these people ruined it.

6.) Lebanon has a Dairy Queen now! Words cannot describe how happy I am about this. Apparently it has been here for a few weeks and I was completely unaware!! I'm considering an Oreo Blizzard after I get off work actually.

7.) Earlier today someone asked me if I was old enough to drive. Really? Seriously? I've been over the age of 16 for 7 years now!! And the first person to tell me in the comments "you'll appreciate that when you're 40" will be banned from my blog...forever.

8.) Doralynn I just read my Facebook....you are banned.


That was a lot of writing for my first day back! I think I'll stop while I'm ahead.