Your baby is so....small?

I'm going to skip the daily list of random and launch right into the topic today. I think we can all relate to what I'm going to talk about.

Have you ever been caught in an awkward social situation? You know what I'm talking about. Everything is going great and then BAM, the large awkward pink walrus enters the room. Everyone tries to avoid it, but it's still there.

Bet you didn't think I'd find a picture of a pink walrus did you?

Here is a list of situations I find awkward:

1.) The joke-gone-bad

Now most of the time this occurs when someone already senses the pink walrus is just outside the door, and they try to break the tension by telling the first joke that comes to mind. This joke is usually lame in nature and/or doesn't make sense. The pink walrus bursts into the room when there is a.) no laughter or b.) obnoxious loud laughter from the joke teller.

The joke-gone-bad also applies when there is no pink walrus anywhere in sight and then BAM, someone tells an offensive joke. These usually happen at funerals, birthday parties, and any event where there is mixed company of young and old people.

2. The handshake-hug

At some point in your life you are going to commit this socially awkward act. You know that friend that you have that you think you've reached the "hugging stage" with? Well there is a chance that they don't think you two are ready for that yet. This results in the handshake-hug.

Sometimes, the other person will try to make it less awkward and attempt to turn the handshake into a hug.

This always puts you in hug limbo. Hug limbo occurs when neither party knows where their hands should go. One hand was already being extended in a handshake while the other party already has both arms coming towards the other person. Sensing the hug, the person then tries to lower their hand and it gets caught between their body and the other person. Sometimes the hugger will since that the huggee does not want the hug and will attempt to abort the hug while the other person is trying to figure out what to do with their hand. This results in the pat on the back mingled with a fumbled handshake. 

3. The ugly baby

All babies are precious. All babies are sweet. BUT, not all babies are cute. Don't act all shocked and disgusted that I said that. You know it's true. You've been forced to "oooh" and "ahhh" over a baby that you think looks like the Chucky doll.

The question, "Isn't she adorable?!" is usually awkward for many reasons. A) You thought the baby was a boy, B) You laughed, or C) You stare blankly at the person with no response. The normal reaction is lie, lie, lie. However if you answer the question with options a,b, or c the pink walrus will make it's entrance and you need to politely hand the baby back and leave the room.

I have no hints or tips on how to successfully get out of these socially awkward situations. My normal reaction is to leave the room. However, if you leave the room you have to stay gone. The situation gets even more awkward if you have to go back to get an umbrellas or car keys.