Flies, stalkers, and aliens..oh my!

I am about to go into a homicidal rage.

There is a fly that keeps buzzing around my head. It is consuming my thoughts. I have plotted it's death several times, but each plot involves me getting off the couch. So right now I am using my laptop as a makeshift bat and swinging it wilding as the fly comes by.



Desired result



Probable result


That was a daily dose of random. Nothing good happened today anyway.




Story time! I'm going to tell you about the time one of the times I got the cops called on me.

I was working at the same place I have been talking about the past two days. I was up front when a police officer walked in the door. I was confused to see one in there because we were not a donut shop (ha!) No, but seriously, an officer walked in the door and asked to speak with "Tammy". Tammy worked in the back. She came up to the front and the officer asked her why she had called the police. Tammy told the officer that she was being stalked. Every morning at 7:15am a red SUV followed her and her daughter while she walked her to school. Tammy explained the route they always took and she also described the SUV as red and square. Now, guess who drove a red square SUV down Cedar St to school every morning at 7:15. That's right! ME!

Let me give you some background on Tammy...She was abducted by aliens. They continued to talk to her daily after they deposited her back on Earth. It was the aliens who told her that the government (me) was following her in that red SUV. The aliens also told her that evil snakes steal socks out of the dryer. I see their point though, I mean snakes do only need one sock. 

I got a little off track. Moving on...I did not inform the officer that I was the driver of the SUV. I also did not inform Tammy of that fact either. I was fearful of what the aliens would tell her to do to me. Tammy and her daughter starting taking a new route to school per the alien's instructions. She never had any more problems with the red SUV. The end.