Victory is mine! My blog has successfully been unblocked. The "MAN" tried to keep me down, but my First Amendment rights prevailed!

Okay that was a little bit dramatic. However, I can now continue on my journey to fame and fortune! Here is the daily list of random.

1.) It is very hard to pick a Reader of the Week this Friday. So many of you showed support when I was maliciously blocked on Facebook. It was a tough decision, but I've chosen David Layne as Reader of the Week! Even though David moved to Atlanta and left me here, I still miss and love him! Congratulations David on being ROTW! You will receive an e-card shortly along with a list of reasons why you should move back. You're welcome.

2.) Anyone wishing to be nominated for ROTW for this week can bring me food to work. I for some reason thought that a Banquet meal that included a square pizza and cup of pudding would taste good. Upon further examination of the food, I'd rather eat the box.

3.) My mom came by work to drop off my car so I went outside to meet her. As I was walking back, I was thoroughly engrossed in the sweet tea she had brought me, and I was completely oblivious to the sign I walked into. I did a quick take to see who all saw it. Of the three people outside, only one person witnessed the incident thankfully. She was too polite to laugh so she just smiled at me. You'd think that the painting of the handicapped sign on the ground was sufficient. I don't know why we have to plant signs on sidewalks too.


Alright, I have no topic again today so I am just going to tell another story.

Remember the place I told you I worked at for five years? Well they had a secondary location on the other side of town. We had this customer down there named "Barry". I was fairly new when I first encountered Barry for the first time. The phone rang and I picked it up and this is what I heard on the other end of the line, "Do you want a frosty?" I was thinking maybe he was talking to someone in the car and was going to answer me so I stayed silent. "Hello? Do you want me to bring you a Frosty?" I realized he was talking to me. "Um, no thank you." I was very creeped out at that point. "Are you sure? It's a really hot day I know a Frosty would taste good right about now." I asked him to wait so  I could ask my coworker. I wish I could remember who I was working with at the time. We both decided it was a little weird and decided to decline the Frosty. "Sir, we are okay right now. Thank you though." I was still unaware as to who this person actually was. "Okay. Well I'll see you in a few minutes." I hung up very confused. Later, a man pulled up the drive-thru window and handed me a Frosty. "I knew you were just being polite. Here is your Frosty." Barry continued to bring me Frosties for three years. I ate every single one of them. I can't turn down a Frosty, even a creepy one!

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

The Tale of the Styrofoam Cup

Today is the first challenge-free blog! I am no longer bound to lame topics, and you no longer have to endure them. As usual, here is the daily list of random with only one topic...

I am still on the hunt to find out who flagged my blog on Facebook. It is childish for me to be upset about this, but how else am I supposed to become famous? This person has blocked all chances of me gaining world wide fame. Now, only my followers on blogspot will know when I post something. That is only 9 people. I'm shooting for 6 billion!!! Here are my three suspects....

The "leave Britney Spears alone" guy

Taylor Swift

Vegans

Now it is time for that story I promised you!

Here is some background.....From the time I was 15 until I was 20 I worked at a family run business in Lebanon. There was a "front" part of the business that saw customers and there was a "back" part of the business where 99% of the activity took place. The owners of the business have very kind hearts and would hire people who could not get a job anywhere else. They believed in second chances. The people that worked in the back sometimes had been involved in drugs and/or alcohol at some part in their lives and usually had some sort of criminal record. The majority of these people had nowhere else to go and they knew it. So they worked hard! However, there were a few bad eggs that didn't appreciate the opportunity they had been given...

When I was 16 this woman, let's call her "Jill", was working there. Jill approached me one day while I was working in the back. She was holding an empty Styrofoam cup. I was cornered between the bathroom and the ice machine with no escape in sight. She looked to the left, then to the right. She lowered her voice and asked, "Do you smoke drugs?" Now try and imagine the look on my face. I, of course, told her "no". She then wanted to clarify that I didn't do any other drugs that didn't involve smoking them. I, of course, told her "no" again. At this point I noticed the cup in her hand. It hadn't registered with me until I realized what she was REALLY asking. "I know'd you was a good girl so that's why I wanted to ask if you'd help me out with a drug test. Your pee will show up clean." Again, try and imagine the expression on my face. I mumbled a lot of incoherent words, looked around frantically for someone to help me, and then I reached out for the cup. I don't know why I reached for the cup. I just did. BUT, I stopped myself thankfully. My blank mind began to work furiously. I half yelled, half stuttered, "I take pills!" Then I ran away. Yes, ran. I took refuge up front where my coworkers laughed hysterically at me. Moral of the story: Asking others for urine is weird. Don't do it.


And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Day 30: Better late than never!

Well, I fell behind. Yesterday was supposed to be the final blog. What's one day off though?

1.) I cannot breathe. My nasal passages are refusing to do their job. I'm thinking it is due to this bipolar weather we are having. One day it's warm, the next we are building snowmen. One day it's a tornado, the next we are frolicking through fields of sunshine.

2.) I successfully put together a night stand and a bookshelf without crying. I hit my thumb once, lost a few nails, and I put something on backwards, BUT the important part is that everything turned out fine!!

This is exactly what I looked like. Just with shorter, darker hair. And long pants. And a full t-shirt. And a screwdriver instead of that thing. But this is pretty close.

3.) I slacked again on Cookbook Monday. This week I made a Buttermilk Pie. It is just a slight variation from my grandmother's Chess Pie. She used vinegar and I used buttermilk. That's not really a "slight" variation, but everything else was the same. Buttermilk makes it sweeter.


This is the last blog challenge. I still plan to bore you with mundane stories though! So don't you worry! Today's challenge is to show you a very recent picture of me.

If you look past the adorable baby you'll see me. This is the most recent picture I have of myself. Is that sad? I tried doing one of those self-shots where I hold my phone out at an awkward angle and try to look cute, but it didn't turn out so well....

                                   I went for the "open mouth smile" on the first take...not so good

                                  Then I thought I'd try the "kissy duck face"....also not so good.

Finally, I tried to "throw the deuces"...even worse than the first two.

I'll probably regret putting those up there, but I just had to share. I am also deeply sorry if you make these faces on a regular basis. I'm sure your's are a lot better than mine.

I hope you enjoyed the blog challenge! I have to get the creative juices flowing and come up with my own topics now!

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

P.S. I'll tell the story about the Styerfoam cup and Valium tomorrow.

Day 28 and 29: Toto blew away but I think we are still in Lebanon

Hello, readers. If you are reading this then I know you survived the tornado! Yay!

1.) It got pretty rough today here in the mid-state. (I've always wanted to work "mid-state" into a conversation. This is close enough.) Our street sign blew off the stop sign and landed in the middle of the road, but that is all the damage we received. I hope all of your homes weathered the storm!

2.) Along the same line of conversation, the tornado warning for Wilson County is obnoxiously loud. I understand that it has to be so everyone can hear it, but I don't think people in Alabama need to know we are having a a tornado warning. Why can't it be like the "Bat Signal"? We should all just know to look up at the sky and see the signal for the tornado!

I do not live in Chicago, but I could not find a stormy sky of Lebanon on Google.
Oh, and try not to be too jealous of my Paint skills. I'm just born with that kind of talent. 

3.) Jeremy Johnson said he reads my blog but I don't know if I believe him or not. Jeremy the secret word is peanut butter. You must text this word to me so I can believe you.


Moving right along. I am behind so I have to do two challenges in one day! The first is something that stresses me out.

I hate being late. It stresses me out to not be somewhere on time! You know what makes me late the most? Stop lights! This city is over run with mentally handicapped stop lights. The one that stresses me out the most and never fails to make me late is this one....

It is the south bound turn signal that gets me every time! I get skipped constantly! I am mad just thinking about!!

Alright. I feel better. The next blog challenge is about wishes. I only get three which is pretty lame if you ask me.

1.) I wish for my master's degree without actually having to go back to school.

2.) I wish Verizon didn't charge $30 for a data package

3.) I wish that all traffic lights turn green whenever I approach them!

Well tomorrow is the last day of the challenge. I'm kinda glad because these topics were getting entirely too boring. I plan on entertaining you with stories from my past from now on. The first story involves a Styrofoam cup and Valium. Try to contain your curiosity!

And that's the way the cookie crumbles!

Day 27: We have trees and a square...yeah!

Helllllo, readers! I am officially back on track with my blog challenge...I think.

1.) Marshmallows in the shape of bunny rabbits are my new favorite snack. They taste like regular marshmallows, but are much more cute.

I mean, c'mon! Look at them. They even come in fun Easter colors!


2.) I just checked my junk email folder. Is that what the Internet really thinks of me?? Do they think I'm an overweight woman who likes foreign men? I have no idea why I am even receiving such emails!

3.) I just realized I was complaining about the internet thinking I was fat while I was eating more marshmallow bunnies.


Day 27 is supposed to be about my pets. Well, I'm not allowed to have pets because my mom says we get too attached and then they die. I thought it would too depressing to tell you about my favorite pet that is now dead so I'm just going to change the topic. Someone else had Day 27 as "a picture of the town you grew up in". Guess I'll go with that one!

Unfortunately when you type in Lebanon, TN, into Google, this is all you get. Kinda dismal, huh? There were other random things that popped up but for the most part these two were the only relevant pictures.

This is what Wikipedia says about it:

Lebanon is a city in Wilson County, Tennessee, in the United States. As of the census^[1] of 2000, there were 20,235 people, 7,987 households, and 5,319 families residing in the city. It serves as the county seat of Wilson County^[3]. Lebanon is located in middle Tennessee, east of Nashville. Local residents have also called it "Cedar-City". Mostly a reference to the abundance of cedar trees in the area.

Lebanon is home to Cumberland University, a small, private, 4-year liberal arts institution.

Lebanon is featured in Death Proof, directed by Quentin Tarantino, as the setting for the second half of the film, although none of the scenes were actually filmed in Lebanon. In the theatrical release (as part of the double feature Grindhouse), only the newspaper held and referenced by the character "Zoe" gives away the location. In the September 2007 DVD release, the action's location is revealed by a title card and multiple references by several characters. Tarantino was born in Knoxville, Tennessee, and has referenced his home state in other films.
Lebanon is also featured in Miranda Lambert's "Famous in a Small Town" music video.
Other movies were filmed in Lebanon are:^{[citation needed]}

• All The Kind Strangers shot in 1974 on Old Rome Pike.
• Charlie's War shot in 2003 on Old Rome Pike.
• Happiness Is... shot in 1975 unknown location.
• Perry's Wait shot in 2007 unknown location.

Well, that's where I grew up. Try not to be too overwhelmed by all the fun facts I just threw at you!


And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Day 26ish: Taunting poor people is wrong

It was pointed out to me yesterday that I had mistakenly used Day 24 twice! So today will be Day 26, and we will pretend that Day 25 was the other day. Now, on to the daily list of random.

1.) By a show of hands (that I can't see), how many of you know what "Chubby Bunny" is? Apparently it is not a well known game because I had to demonstrate it at work yesterday. While everyone enjoyed watching me shove marshmallows into my mouth, my stomach did not appreciate the game too much. Swallowing 15 marshmallows was not my best idea.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the game, but I thought it was funny.

2.) A flock of birds pooped on my car. It couldn't have just been one bird. Oh no, it had to be a whole army of birds. It was like an aerial assault on my beautiful, clean car. And do you know whose fault that is?! MY MOM'S. She is the crazy bird lady of Lebanon. She entices them to our house with a bountiful array of bird seed and bird houses. I came home to three doves on the roof yesterday. I won't be surprised when sea gulls and eagles start nesting in our bushes.

3.) This week's Reader of the Week is....*silence*.....*more silence*.....Cory Cook! I receive daily props from Cory about my blog! See kids, sucking up does get you places. Cory, you have won a week free of being made fun of by me. You're welcome.

Day 26 is supposed to be a picture of my family, but I've already shown you one! I always get ahead of myself on these things. I looked on another blog and their Day 26 is "dream wedding". This topic is about as lame as the hat my sister wants my nephew to wear for Easter.

So I think I will forge my own path and tell you about my epically bad April Fools joke I played one year that I still feel terrible about. Four years ago I was working at a dry cleaners and decided to play the age old joke of gluing money to the ground. So while the workers in the back were on break I took a quarter and super glued it to the floor. This quarter was not going anywhere. The workers come back in and the hilarity began. One by one as they walked by the quarter they tried to pick it up, kick it, and for some reason stomp on it. Sadly, one of them came up to the front where I worked and was distraught about this quarter that she could not get up off the floor. She wanted a drink so badly but only had one quarter. She needed that other one to get the drink. I soon realized that gluing a quarter on the ground around a bunch of people who lived their lives pay check to pay check was kind of a cruel joke. I felt extremely bad and even tried to get the quarter up myself! Two years after the joke it finally came loose! Moral of the story? Don't taunt poor people.

Oops, I did it again. 

(that was for you Brooke)

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.